Confessions of a Nokia 3310 user — how I ditched my smartphone

I’ve regressed.

Two months ago, I swapped my iPhone for a Nokia 3310. I’m derided, laughed at and accused of insanity. I feel stares and giggles when I retrieve my phone to answer a call (no, I haven’t got Dom Jolly’s Nokia ringtone?—?it felt tooooooo weird ). Why would I expose myself to social suicide?

It started with Facebook. I logged in and had 5 notifications. I clicked on them and leafed through the content. It was DROSS. A total time-suck. I decided to delete my account. Not the weakling “I’m on a break” option; the full-on, hardcore “see thee later, Zucks” mode.

Departing was like Monty Python’s Holy Grail, where you see Sir Robin riding through the dangerous forest which possesses signs like this:

The routine was basically: –

“So, you want to delete Facebook?”

“You sure?”

“You’ll have no friends?—?you sure you’re sure?”

“The world will cease to exist in any meaningful way; utterly positive?”

“You’ll lose all memories that occurred prior to this date, both digitally and in real life as you’re brain will cease to function in proper accordance with its founding principles; defo?”

I bit the bullet. I downloaded my data and deleted my account. You get 21 days where all data is available for when your weakness prevails and you come crawling back, but I never did. I received an email stating my account had been destroyed, and that was that. Bueno!

Whilst I was at it, I removed Twitter, which also felt good. I’ve retained LinkedIn because it’s useful for work.

The final hurdle was to downgrade phones. I’d become reliant on it. I’d search for articles and read them when bored, google postcodes when I’d forgotten to write them down, obsess over my emails, swipe furiously and imagine vibrations when my phone was in my pocket.

It had to go.

I bought a Nokia 3310 as a replacement. The benefits have been thus: –

1. I’m ready to talk whenever other people put their phone away.
2. I prepare more for meetings
3. I feel more relaxed
4. I’m less attached to an inanimate object
5. I forget useless preoccupations, for example, if I think “I need to find such-and-such-a-thing out” but have no phone handy, I simply forget it if it isn’t important, or write it down if it is.
6. I’m more aware of my surrounds
7. More present with the kids

The drawbacks are: –

1. SatNav?—?I’ve been lost a few times. I’ve solved this by writing stuff down, like DIRECTIONS!
2. I’m not in the loop for our cricket team, e.g. when training’s cancelled, meet times etc etc.
3. I need an iPhone for my web development work at Kloodle. I use my wife’s phone for this.

None of the issues are insurmountable.

The biggest reason for my migration to a 3310 was the feeling that my phone was disempowering me. I’d rely on it to be entertained, to solve problems, to communicate and I’d rusted my creativity, pragmatism, and ability to communicate.

I’d never be a snob, though. If you want to keep your iPhone, then crack on. The more you move through life, the more you realise you’re probably wrong 99.99% of the time. I’ve got my own reasons and I don’t expect them to be adopted as gospel by you. I’m merely reporting.

However, I’d recommend giving it a try! The next step is to use a landline only…..